Thanks for waiting

One tall, iced caramel macchiato...upgraded to venti and for free. 20 oz. of caffeine that changed a not-so-great day into well, a changed perspective.

Cars are not my forte (as you're probably discovering from this blog). I can change a flat, check my oil, jump a dead battery, and know the tell-tale signs of Corky (my car) burning through all my oil, but beyond that I don't rely upon my own (lack of) expertise. The world of registration and insurance overwhelms me beyond "Pay by this certain date to renew" and thus, moving has completely knocked me off my feet in terms of automobiles. The nightmare of deed of title, out-of-state registration/insurance, and steep fees intimidates me. But I've been trying! Insert Yoda quote here: Do or do not...there is no try. The little Jedi never spoke greater truth. ;)

I bucked up enough courage today to attempt registering my car only to fail miserably. Deciding to move on, I tried another errand only to fail also in that one. Call it the weather, call it lack of sleep, call it frustration, I found myself fighting back tears by 2:00 pm today.

On my way home from the failed outing, Starbucks suckered me in and I found myself trying to keep my emotions in check before getting my coffee from the drive through. I pulled up, prepared to part with 3 bucks and then was told the drink was on the house. It had also been upgraded to a venti with a: "Thanks for waiting." My response was no less than amazed, grateful, and incredulous: "Really?! You just made my day." Poor barista...it must have a been a long, much worse day for him than for me. Perspective check.

As I drove away, I reflected on his words: "Thanks for waiting," and I felt somewhat embarrassed. The embarrassment had nothing to do with the coffee, but it had everything to do with God. In those simple, tired words, I felt God nudging me and gently reprimanding me for my lack of waiting, my lack of trusting.

Psalm 46:10 says: "He says, 'Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The context of the psalm praises God's faithfulness and power and exhorts us not to fear: He is our refuge and strength. Since moving to Hawaii, God has placed that verse in my heart bringing it to mind constantly. I find myself needing to preach it to myself daily as I feel Him telling me, "Beloved, wait on me. Wait on me, and I will watch over you."

Yet today, I was ashamed at my quick crumbling to fear and frustration. I could hear God's quiet voice asking me, "Why aren't you waiting for me? Have I not been faithful?"

Two days ago, I spent the afternoon with my Uncle who stopped through Hawaii on his way back from Japan. We toured the Japanese temple in my area and stopped to feed the birds. While very used to humans, the little turtle doves, mourning doves, and sparrows aren't fearless. To feed them, one must stand very still, holding up outstretched hands, palm up. So I did this, and then I had to wait. I had to be still and quiet so that the birds would not fear me and after a minute or two, they eventually flew up and landed on my arms. I was thrilled with joy at the softness of their little necks poking my hand for food and the slight scratch of their feet clinging on to my fingers and wrists. I could have fed them all day, enjoying the pureness in their gentleness. But I had to be still. I had to wait. I wanted those little birds to fly immediately to my open arms, but I had to wait in order to experience the delight.

God is asking me to wait on Him. He waited for me with outstretched arms and He asks me to wait so that He can fill my arms with the joy of who He is. And in my heart, my response should always be: "Thank you Lord, for waiting for this impatient me."