Maybe this doesn't bother you, but when characters in movies or books or TV shows do stupid things, I just want to throw something at my computer screen in frustration because they can't hear me telling them not to do it. The character inevitably chooses badly, their lives spiral out of control, the bad guy looks like he's about to win, and that's when I start skipping to the end because I can't stand the suspense any longer.
Of course, I have to remind myself that characters don't get all the information that I (the reader/viewer) receive nor have the added scope of an outside perspective and thus cannot make as wise of choices. Yet, as an audience, I wonder, "How in the world could she/he do that???" And then the wonder turns upon itself and quietly suggests to me, "Would you do that?"
Today I read the section in Ephesians about putting on the armor of God. The old, familiar verses I memorized while growing up struck fresh today when I came across this part: "With all of these, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one." (Ephesians 6:16). The verse particularly resonated within me in light of the Korean drama I recently started watching, "Faith." (My favorite actor, Lee Min Ho, has the title role...hence why I started watching it).
The underlying theme of the historical drama is, yes, faith. (I should have guessed that from the title...) The good guys are on the new King's side: him, the Queen, captain of the guard (and his men), and the doctor from heaven (...no time to explain that part). The bad guys are on the side of the rich, evil subject Ji Chol: him, his family, and basically everyone else (his bribery and trickery are quite impressive). The King is trying to protect his throne with the help of the captain and doctor while the Ji Chol causes havoc and disunity within the kingdom.
The problem though for the good guys is that they lack unity. None of the characters trust each other enough to wait on any one plan and instead attempt to act on their own, which always ends badly. While the King has a plan, even his Queen refuses to wait because she feels she must do something, and so she secretly sneaks out of the palace to attempt her own mission (and nearly loses her life in the process...DRAMA). The captain of the guard does likewise, trying to enact plans on his own. Instead of helping, he just causes even more problems. The King in frustration responds, "Why won't anyone trust that I have a plan? Do you think I am that pathetic?"
As the drama unfolds, the enemy, Ji Chol, manipulates the people around him, playing on their insecurities and planting seeds of doubt. He twists words and actions to increase their mistrust of the King and each other. Skilled in the art of wordplay, he pounces upon their lack of faith and uses it to pit them one against another. He wins without ever having to step into the battle.
And I keep wringing my pillows hoping the good guys will for once trust what their King has to say and work together. Their faith in him is the only way to victory.
Reading Ephesians today, I was no longer disconnected from the characters, no longer on the outside looking in. How many times have I stopped trusting in others who deserved my trust, and how often do I act foolishly because I don't wait on the Lord? Too many times. Each time I mistrust God, I am telling him He's pathetic...I don't believe His plan for me is wiser and better than my own. And each time I do this, I open myself up to disappointment, hurt, despair, anger, and the consequences of foolish actions. I harm not just myself, but I also endanger or even hurt those around me.
Without faith in our heavenly King, we are lost. When we stop trusting, when we stop waiting, when we begin acting on our own apart from God, we put down our shield and leave ourselves wide open to attack. When does a wise enemy strike? When an army is at its weakest. And when is an army at its weakest? When its soldiers are no longer holding up their shields and weapons, be it from a false sense of security or from the belief that we can do it alone.
As I heard once in a sermon, the way to guard yourself is this: know the word of God; preach the gospel to yourself daily; study your enemies tactics; pray; and walk in godly community and confession. I know this blog talks a lot about continued faith and waiting upon the Lord. It may seem repetitive, but I for one, could use the daily reminder.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Thanks for waiting
One tall, iced caramel macchiato...upgraded to venti and for free. 20 oz. of caffeine that changed a not-so-great day into well, a changed perspective.
Cars are not my forte (as you're probably discovering from this blog). I can change a flat, check my oil, jump a dead battery, and know the tell-tale signs of Corky (my car) burning through all my oil, but beyond that I don't rely upon my own (lack of) expertise. The world of registration and insurance overwhelms me beyond "Pay by this certain date to renew" and thus, moving has completely knocked me off my feet in terms of automobiles. The nightmare of deed of title, out-of-state registration/insurance, and steep fees intimidates me. But I've been trying! Insert Yoda quote here: Do or do not...there is no try. The little Jedi never spoke greater truth. ;)
I bucked up enough courage today to attempt registering my car only to fail miserably. Deciding to move on, I tried another errand only to fail also in that one. Call it the weather, call it lack of sleep, call it frustration, I found myself fighting back tears by 2:00 pm today.
On my way home from the failed outing, Starbucks suckered me in and I found myself trying to keep my emotions in check before getting my coffee from the drive through. I pulled up, prepared to part with 3 bucks and then was told the drink was on the house. It had also been upgraded to a venti with a: "Thanks for waiting." My response was no less than amazed, grateful, and incredulous: "Really?! You just made my day." Poor barista...it must have a been a long, much worse day for him than for me. Perspective check.
As I drove away, I reflected on his words: "Thanks for waiting," and I felt somewhat embarrassed. The embarrassment had nothing to do with the coffee, but it had everything to do with God. In those simple, tired words, I felt God nudging me and gently reprimanding me for my lack of waiting, my lack of trusting.
Psalm 46:10 says: "He says, 'Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The context of the psalm praises God's faithfulness and power and exhorts us not to fear: He is our refuge and strength. Since moving to Hawaii, God has placed that verse in my heart bringing it to mind constantly. I find myself needing to preach it to myself daily as I feel Him telling me, "Beloved, wait on me. Wait on me, and I will watch over you."
Yet today, I was ashamed at my quick crumbling to fear and frustration. I could hear God's quiet voice asking me, "Why aren't you waiting for me? Have I not been faithful?"
Two days ago, I spent the afternoon with my Uncle who stopped through Hawaii on his way back from Japan. We toured the Japanese temple in my area and stopped to feed the birds. While very used to humans, the little turtle doves, mourning doves, and sparrows aren't fearless. To feed them, one must stand very still, holding up outstretched hands, palm up. So I did this, and then I had to wait. I had to be still and quiet so that the birds would not fear me and after a minute or two, they eventually flew up and landed on my arms. I was thrilled with joy at the softness of their little necks poking my hand for food and the slight scratch of their feet clinging on to my fingers and wrists. I could have fed them all day, enjoying the pureness in their gentleness. But I had to be still. I had to wait. I wanted those little birds to fly immediately to my open arms, but I had to wait in order to experience the delight.
God is asking me to wait on Him. He waited for me with outstretched arms and He asks me to wait so that He can fill my arms with the joy of who He is. And in my heart, my response should always be: "Thank you Lord, for waiting for this impatient me."
Cars are not my forte (as you're probably discovering from this blog). I can change a flat, check my oil, jump a dead battery, and know the tell-tale signs of Corky (my car) burning through all my oil, but beyond that I don't rely upon my own (lack of) expertise. The world of registration and insurance overwhelms me beyond "Pay by this certain date to renew" and thus, moving has completely knocked me off my feet in terms of automobiles. The nightmare of deed of title, out-of-state registration/insurance, and steep fees intimidates me. But I've been trying! Insert Yoda quote here: Do or do not...there is no try. The little Jedi never spoke greater truth. ;)
I bucked up enough courage today to attempt registering my car only to fail miserably. Deciding to move on, I tried another errand only to fail also in that one. Call it the weather, call it lack of sleep, call it frustration, I found myself fighting back tears by 2:00 pm today.
On my way home from the failed outing, Starbucks suckered me in and I found myself trying to keep my emotions in check before getting my coffee from the drive through. I pulled up, prepared to part with 3 bucks and then was told the drink was on the house. It had also been upgraded to a venti with a: "Thanks for waiting." My response was no less than amazed, grateful, and incredulous: "Really?! You just made my day." Poor barista...it must have a been a long, much worse day for him than for me. Perspective check.
As I drove away, I reflected on his words: "Thanks for waiting," and I felt somewhat embarrassed. The embarrassment had nothing to do with the coffee, but it had everything to do with God. In those simple, tired words, I felt God nudging me and gently reprimanding me for my lack of waiting, my lack of trusting.
Psalm 46:10 says: "He says, 'Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The context of the psalm praises God's faithfulness and power and exhorts us not to fear: He is our refuge and strength. Since moving to Hawaii, God has placed that verse in my heart bringing it to mind constantly. I find myself needing to preach it to myself daily as I feel Him telling me, "Beloved, wait on me. Wait on me, and I will watch over you."
Yet today, I was ashamed at my quick crumbling to fear and frustration. I could hear God's quiet voice asking me, "Why aren't you waiting for me? Have I not been faithful?"
Two days ago, I spent the afternoon with my Uncle who stopped through Hawaii on his way back from Japan. We toured the Japanese temple in my area and stopped to feed the birds. While very used to humans, the little turtle doves, mourning doves, and sparrows aren't fearless. To feed them, one must stand very still, holding up outstretched hands, palm up. So I did this, and then I had to wait. I had to be still and quiet so that the birds would not fear me and after a minute or two, they eventually flew up and landed on my arms. I was thrilled with joy at the softness of their little necks poking my hand for food and the slight scratch of their feet clinging on to my fingers and wrists. I could have fed them all day, enjoying the pureness in their gentleness. But I had to be still. I had to wait. I wanted those little birds to fly immediately to my open arms, but I had to wait in order to experience the delight.
God is asking me to wait on Him. He waited for me with outstretched arms and He asks me to wait so that He can fill my arms with the joy of who He is. And in my heart, my response should always be: "Thank you Lord, for waiting for this impatient me."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)